"Dating" My Character

Last night I had a bizarre experience in my dream. I've discussed Lucid dreaming in a past post and I've kind of stopped focusing on that for a couple months so what happened last night surprised me even more. Nothing like this has ever happened, but I hope it happens more frequently in the future.

So I don't remember my dream starting but I remember toward the end I was at a pet store looking at fancy betta fish and a hand was put on my shoulder. I turned to see who it was and it was a character from my next romance novel. He looks just like Evan Peters from the third season of AHS. So Evan's face with shaggy, curly, blond hair.

We watched fish for a while and then saved a fish that had jumped out of the tank. I felt pretty awesome after that and he invited me to go to the movies with him so I did. But the thing is, in my dream I knew it was my characters, not Mr. Peters, (I just knew, okay? Even though they look identical.) and I was a little confused when we first began interacting.

Rhett is supposed to be deaf. I've done tons of research for sign language and interpreters and hearing aid possibilities, and I was feeling pretty prepared to write a deaf character. But in my dream my MMC could hear me. He looked at me and responded to me during our pet store visit and smiled when I said humorous things... neither of us were signing. He stayed silent but he could definitely hear me.

After the pet store, he nodded his head to the right and I knew he meant he wanted to take me to the theatre to watch a movie. It turns out it was a horror movie, (maybe my brain is holding tight to the fact that the actor I have envisioned to 'play' Rhett in my brain is strongly associated with the creepiest show on television) and I was nervous to go inside so he wrapped my arm around his arm. The thing was, I was well aware that I was myself and not my female main character (who is yet to be named.) and I was very aware that his intentions with putting my arm in his was purely friendly. I didn't feel any kind of romantic affection when he did this, but I felt comforted and safe.

We went into the movie and my mom was there as a chaperone, don't ask me why, but I sat a seat away from him and at the first jump scare, he reached out and grabbed my hand which was holding onto the seat next to me so hard all my knuckles were white. I released my grip once his hand touched mine and I could feel his caring gaze on the side of my face while my eyes stayed glued to the screen.

As the movie became more intense, my mom suggested that I scoot closer so I'm sitting right next to him (some good chaperoning lol) so I did and he pulled my arm under his and held tighter to my hand.

It wasn't long before we moved further from the screen and on our way up, two creepy guys who weren't real possessed clowns but they were pretending to be. They came up to me with the intention of scaring us but I growled loudly at them and they cowered away from me and we were going to go sit...

And then I woke up.

So now I'm being faced with what that could mean. Like I said earlier, I've never had a dream that included one of my characters. I have a dream that includes a celebrity normally about once a week, but my characters have never actually materialized in my subconsciousness. I'm assuming this means my brain is trying to sort out a flaw in Rhett's character creation before actual writing begins, but what could it mean?? Does this mean I've been writing the wrong disability attached to his character? Is he supposed to be mute, not deaf? Is he really supposed to be this sweet with my female main character during the last portion of the book???

Since I'm writing this piece for NaNoWriMo this year, I have until October 31st to actually go over this dream and figure out what I'll do with it. I'm taking this as a spiritual gift, and I don't want it to go to waste.

And honestly, I've had a lot of amazing and fantastical dreams in the past, but this is the most incredible thing to happen to me dream-wise that I can recall. And I remember most of my dreams. Who gets to say they were able to "date" the person they made up??

I certainly feel blessed for this experience.

Love, Mackenzie

P.S. Don't ask me why I decided to add this GIF to this particular post, it just feels like the right thing to do at the moment.

Writing Prompt Wednesday

Here's this weeks writing prompt with the link! I thought this prompt was particularly chilling, and I think I might turn it into a short story someday...

Happy writing!

Love, Mackenzie

Camp NaNoWriMo Approacheth!

I'm preparing for Camp NaNoWriMo yet again! It starts July 1st and I have to make a big decision. Do I work like crazy on draft 2 of my superhero novel, Acts of Day, or do I pants my figure skater romance novel (which I haven't named yet)....... UGH.

I hate making decisions like this! It's like picking which of my children I love more, which is impossible. Either one will take time and effort creating/perfecting and effort takes time. Which one do I want to spend my limited time with more, though???

I suppose if I worked on my superhero novel, that would give me ample time to work on thorougly planning my romance novel, and I could write that one for November's NaNo.

UGH.

Decisions will have to be made. But I guess I can procrastinate until Thursday to decide......

Love, Mackenzie

P.S. I worked out yesterday. Gotta keep myself accountable.

A New Goal

So we have a family vacation coming up and I will be wearing a swimming suit at the beach for the day. I have a swimming suit that I like and I don't want to have to buy another one that fits me. I don't think I need to lose that much extra poundage so I'm making it a goal to work out for at least 20 minutes per day, hopefully worked up to 40 minutes by September, but I've never had a consistent workout routine so I'll be using this blog to keep myself accountable!

Last night I did my first hard workout on our exercise bike and I looked not unlike Aang in this GIF. But I'm going to press on and hopefully it'll be worth it.

Love, Mackenzie

Spiritual Thought Sunday

I'm thankful for Facebook because I'm subscribed to a few pages that post uplifting messages and blog posts on there so I can be reminded to remember the Lord on a daily basis. This is one that I found today from the LDS Missionaries page.

I always love this scripture and it's a good reminder for me to trust in God that everything will work out with his guidance. 

Here's a song I liked that I felt I would share since it gives me strength in hard times and I hope everyone has a blessed Sabbath.

Love, Mackenzie

Picture Prompt Saturday

Here's this weeks picture prompt with the link!

Happy writing!

Love, Mackenzie

Cinnamon Roll Murder by Joanne Fluke-Book Review

So I'm going to keep this brief. This is only the second murder mystery novel I've ever read, so if this sucks, TOO BAD. This is my blog.

As a whole I enjoyed this book; I finished it in two days which is CRAZY for me. Normally it takes at least a week or more, so I was pleasantly surprised.
The story kept me interested, even during the slow parts and I was impressed on the misdirection that Joanne was able to produce, even if it felt a little forced.
As for the actual writing, It was easy to read, I didn't feel like I had to pull out a dictionary to enjoy it.
I think the only thing I would say I would change was the flow of the dialogue. It felt like each of the characters sounded practically the same, but I don't know if it is actually a problem or if it's just me being overly critical of dialogue as a whole.

And there you have it. My second book review on this blog!

Love, Mackenzie

Duff Goldman Cake Mix Review

This cake mix SUCKS. I made it exactly to the recipe, and it was like eating a mouthful of sand. I won't be purchasing his products again.

Love, Mackenzie

Writing Prompt Wednesday

Here's this weeks writing prompt with the link!

Happy writing!

Love, Mackenzie

A Great Song I Just Discovered

Here's a great song I just discovered, thanks to the channel M O S T L Y Strings.

Love, Mackenzie

My Current Projects

With July fast approaching, I thought it would be best if I began thinking of my next couple of projects! I have my cozy murder mystery that I'm working on, but that's still in its infancy and I'm still super scared to write it. But I also have a contemporary romance in the works that I'm quite pumped about. It's about figure skaters that are competing with each other in the ice dancing portion, but they used to be competitors against each other. Their partners were the better of each of their pairs and neither of them are psyched to do it together, but they have to if they want a chance of making it to nationals.

ANYWAYS. 

I'm greatly enjoying the process for these two books and I hope they both turn out well. This next GIF depicts how I feel when writing most of my works.

Oh, and then there's All I Wanted, which is giving me trouble again. Maybe I'll put it away for a while again until things work better in my head. We'll see.

Love, Mackenzie

Rest in Peace, Anton

I saw some sad news this evening. Anton Yelchin is dead, and I had so much hope for him in the acting world. I pray that his family can be comforted in this difficult time.

Rest in Peace, Anton!

Love, Mackenzie

Dear Jerk Guy

Dear Jerk Guy,
Yesterday I was going to see Finding Dory with my kids and Mom-In-Law and we were having a bit of trouble finding a parking place. We circled around every aisle, hoping for a stroke of luck. After a few short minutes, we spotted someone pulling out of a parking stall. I drove off to the side to give the woman enough space to drive backward without causing damage to either people or vehicles and I was relieved to be parking so we could get into the movie on time.
WELL.
Just as the lady drove away, and just as I was making a wide circle to get into the parking spot, you drove your jerk face with your jerk girls face into the parking stall like a slimy eel. DAMN YOU.
I actually cursed, to my regret, and I pulled up alongside you and stared at you like the bitter creep that I am, hoping you'd look at me so I could shoot imaginary daggers into your eyes. A part of me wanted you to feel my wrath and I considered flipping you the bird.
I eventually decided against it and we found another parking spot, which was further away and we almost didn't make it before the beginning of the film.
So, I wanted to say to you, Jerk Guy, I hope you're proud of yourself; I was waiting for that spot and you stole it like a big fat jerk face. I hope you spilled your popcorn on the floor and your drink on the girl you were with.
Okay, that's harsh, but I kind of do mean it.

XOXO, Mackenzie

The Haunting

Having fun watching my favorite horror movie, the Haunting. That's all I'll say tonight.

Love, Mackenzie

Thank Goodness For My Phone

I checked my phone for the last time before going to sleep and saw my little late night reminder to write my blog post. Considering it is 11:53, I almost went to sleep, missing an entire day of blogging after doing it religiously for over four months straight. Thank you, Phone. I would have been pissed if I would have missed a day. I haven't ever been this consistent with my writing and that would have sucked big time.

Love, Mackenzie

Writing Prompt Wednesday

Here's this weeks writing prompt, complete with the link!

Happy writing!

Love, Mackenzie

An Epidemic

So I read about a phenomenon that's sweeping the nation. I've seen multiple articles about it, calling it out as one of the worst things to happen to our current generation. I've read even more articles that have explained why doing this horrendous thing is ruining our relationships and destroying marriages and kid-to-parent bonds.

What is this all too common situation that's sweeping the globe and wreaking so much havoc??

Electronics use.

I'm speaking from experience here when I say that too much electronics use can be damaging on relationships, but according to the articles I've read over the past few years, it's bad to use them at all whenever your loved ones are around. Let me tell you my story and then I'll get on with my point.

L was only 16 months old when N came into this world. I had been dealing with a fetus that tried to come early three times before his actual entrance, bed rest for three months, and the inability to care for my older son due to it. N developed colic at three weeks old and stayed that way for five months, and even when he got past the actual colic, he didn't stop screaming until he was 19 months old. Needless to say, I developed some pretty severe PPD and I'm fairly certain I also have some PTSD from all the noise my little one gave out.

I'm not one to lie about my habits, and I don't intend to start now even though this is going on the internet for the whole world to see.

When I was depressed and my N had his screaming problem, I was on my phone ALL. THE. TIME. The television was on ALL. THE. TIME. At the time, I felt I had no other choice but to keep the background noise going in an attempt to keep the screaming from piercing my soul. I read far too many articles that ripped apart my survivalist practices, explaining that if you did what I was doing, you're a failure as a parent and that your kids deserve better so you should do better.

I've never done well with being told what to do, but those blog posts ripped me apart. But that's a whole 'nother post entirely. Not today.

I'm well aware that constant electronics isn't healthy for you and those around you but I felt completely helpless. And it was the only thing that got me through the day for most of N's life. 

Now that he's finished his screaming phase, I've been working hard on whittling it down to only about two hours of television and a handful of times during the day that I allow myself to browse Facebook or Pinterest. I still slip some days, some days the television takes over my household and I am on my phone more often than I mean to be. 

But I guess that's not the point of this post.

The real point I'm trying to make is that you can use electronics during the day without destroying your relationships. I have an unbreakable relationship with my sons and we share hugs and kisses and games of hide and seek, and school time and building time, to name only a few examples. But I still take time to myself to breathe in between interactions because I function better with that help.

I saw a hilarious article that talked about the issue of 'Phone Snubbing', a huge catastrophe that causes marriages to crumble like a sand castle under a wave. I showed it to my husband who laughed at it along with me. The article said that people are spending so much times on their phones that it's kicking the other person out of your life so far, that it prevents the two of you communicating efficiently.

Here's the funny part. This problem has always existed. Thirty years ago, it was books. One hundred years ago, it may have been farming or chores or other hobbies. This 'epidemic' is not new, people. It's only taking on a new appearance because of the day and age in which we live. 

I am a product of such snubbing issues. My mom was an avid reader, and I would find her with a mystery novel in her hands whenever she had the chance. And guess what happened to me? I have a strong relationship with her and I find myself doing the same time every now and then. I don't blame my mother for taking the small moments during the day for some recharge time. Hell, I do it myself.

I think the real root of the problem is that people need to find something other than themselves to explain why their relationships are falling apart and electronics are a great scapegoat. It can't defend itself and it does a clever way of covering up any real emotions you should be talking about. When Josh and I have our very rare arguments, we both go to our separate corners of the house for a twenty minute cool down session but we always come back and talk it out before moving on. Don't blame the electronics for your misuse of them. They aren't responsible for your lack of communication.

But if you use your phone as an escape from life to take a breather or to wind down at night, it's not the end of the world, just don't abuse it. But if you find yourself struggling with excessive phone or other electronics use, leave your phone in your bedroom plugged in and away from the action. Tell your spouse to hide the television remote from you so you can't use it for a day or a week or (if you're really brave) a whole month. If you need to check your Facebook or Twitter accounts throughout the day, leave your phone on the kitchen counter and out of your pocket and use it while you prepare the meals for your family.

Don't blame the electronics. They don't know any better. You do, however, so make the necessary changes to make you feel content with yourself. The END.

Love, Mackenzie

Animal Crossing: New Leaf

So as you know, I recently got a Nintendo 3DS XL for my birthday and I have two games. I have Pokemon Y and Animal Crossing: New Leaf.
I must say, I'm impressed with both but New Leaf is completely addictive for me. I've played both the original Animal Crossing as well as Animal Crossing: City Folk, which both tickled me, but New Leaf is a whole new ball game.
You're the mayor, you can initiate public works projects, you can set up ordinances to govern your town and there are far more options in terms of house customization, which is my favorite part.
So far I'm loving it, maybe I'll make a future post about it really picking it apart, but for now, I'm tired and I need to get through a book since I have three others I need to get through before my books are due.

Love, Mackenzie

God Bless Orlando

My heart goes out to those affected by the mass shooting at the club called Pulse in Orlando, Florida. The last I saw, 50 were killed and 53 were injured.
Even though I don't agree with the concept of being LGBT, I'm devastated for those people who have been lost and their families and loved ones.

Love, Mackenzie

Picture Prompt Saturday

Here's this weeks picture prompt, complete with the link!

Happy Writing!

Love, Mackenzie

Zootopia

I'm watching Zootopia finally and I'm loving it!

Love, Mackenzie

Languages

Josh and I are planning on Homeschooling, and I know what you're thinking already.
What about socialization?
Will they have friends??
How will they turn out when they become adults???
WELL.
To answer these questions, I'd like to make one statement.

You don't need to worry about my kids turning out okay. I was in the public education system where I was bullied mercilessly, I struggled to keep up in my classes and I had a generally bad time. No to mention the peer pressure which surrounded me on a daily basis. I don't want to submit my children to that, so I'M going to school them. It's not your concern if they turn out like unsocialized weirdos. That will be on me if that happens.

Anyway, back to the meat of my actual post.

Josh and I have discussed what we want our boys learning in terms of languages and we've agreed that Latin and Spanish are a good starting place, but I've always wanted to learn how to sign to the deaf and hard of hearing. So I think I'll add ASL to our curriculum, it could be a fun family project and I think it would help my sons be more aware of the ASL community.

And that's all I have to say today.

Love, Mackenzie

Writing Prompt Wednesday

Here's this weeks prompt with the link!

Happy writing!

Love, Mackenzie

Distractions

I've been working on draft 3 of All I Wanted for a little over a week and things are going well with it. OR so I thought.
I've hit this place in my novel that I always get stuck with it. It's the scene where Petra goes back to Homestead for the first time since the novel began and I always have issues with getting myself to write it. Always. Literally always. I've finally reached the dreaded scene and I have very little motivation to get on with it.
Especially since I have two other first drafts who are jumping up and down to try and get my attention, screaming, "PICK ME. DO IT. JUST PICK ME UP NOW AND POLISH ME."

And it's getting me a little distracted from my current project. That audiobook Big Magic has taught me to work on just one project until it's reached completion. Which is super frustrating because my two other little darlings, Acts of Day and If I Stay, are clamoring for my attention like two toddlers. 

So I hope I can make it through All I Wanted without pulling all my hair out and hopefully my other documents can be patient with my brain.

This is one of those times I wish I didn't need sleep so I could just write like crazy. I'd be far more productive if that was the case. 

Love, Mackenzie

Happy Birthday to ME

I'm officially 23! I'm happy to say that I've made some big improvements this last year and the fact that I didn't die is a bonus as well.
Here's a GIF of a parakeet running away from a CGI explosion to celebrate! Happy June 6th!

Love, Mackenzie

P.S. If you're reading this on June 6th, go get a cupcake for yourself!

The Flash

So honestly, I used to think the Flash was a lame super hero. I mean, running really fast? L.A.M.E.

...And then I watched the first season on Netflix. I have a new favorite hero, and his name is Barry Allen. He's sensitive, he has a clear mission, and he makes mistakes, which makes me love him because he's human. I suggest any person who loves super heroes to watch it and I hope you'll fall in love with his character like I have.

But let's forget about his super annoying love interest, Iris. I hope she gets better in season two, because she's kind of a baby in season one.

And Grant Gustin is just adorable, so that helps.

Love, Mackenzie

Picture Prompt Saturday

Here's this weeks picture prompt! I couldn't find the link but I'm not the creator.

Happy Writing!

Love, Mackenzie

I Feel Like An Idiot

So my class reunion is tonight and I feel like an idiot! As an ENFJ, I have a tendency to care way too much about how others view me and I'm finding that I don't want to go to the reunion considering that I've gained fifty pounds since graduation and I used to be super skinny. Granted I have had two kids and I've had some issues losing it, but I'm still super nervous for no good reason! I didn't even like half the people I graduated with so I don't know why I'm freaking out so much inside. UGH. Sometimes I don't like being an ENFJ. Sometimes I wish I was like Josh, the INTJ, who doesn't give a damn about what other people think of him. He's working with me to stop caring so much but its a slow process and it's becoming a little agonizing.
To give myself credit, though, I have made little leaps toward total self acceptance. Hopefully it will come sooner rather than later. As for this evening, well, I'll just suffer through it and hope all goes well, although I'm not sure what could go wrong.

Oh well, here goes nothing.

Love, Mackenzie

My Favorite Song Today

I rediscovered this song a couple weeks ago and I'm obsessed again. <3

I'm not sure why.

But I am.

Ladies and Gentlemen, This Time by Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

Love, Mackenzie

Writing Prompt Wednesday

Here's this weeks prompt with the link!

Happy Writing!

Love, Mackenzie