An Epidemic

So I read about a phenomenon that's sweeping the nation. I've seen multiple articles about it, calling it out as one of the worst things to happen to our current generation. I've read even more articles that have explained why doing this horrendous thing is ruining our relationships and destroying marriages and kid-to-parent bonds.

What is this all too common situation that's sweeping the globe and wreaking so much havoc??

Electronics use.

I'm speaking from experience here when I say that too much electronics use can be damaging on relationships, but according to the articles I've read over the past few years, it's bad to use them at all whenever your loved ones are around. Let me tell you my story and then I'll get on with my point.

L was only 16 months old when N came into this world. I had been dealing with a fetus that tried to come early three times before his actual entrance, bed rest for three months, and the inability to care for my older son due to it. N developed colic at three weeks old and stayed that way for five months, and even when he got past the actual colic, he didn't stop screaming until he was 19 months old. Needless to say, I developed some pretty severe PPD and I'm fairly certain I also have some PTSD from all the noise my little one gave out.

I'm not one to lie about my habits, and I don't intend to start now even though this is going on the internet for the whole world to see.

When I was depressed and my N had his screaming problem, I was on my phone ALL. THE. TIME. The television was on ALL. THE. TIME. At the time, I felt I had no other choice but to keep the background noise going in an attempt to keep the screaming from piercing my soul. I read far too many articles that ripped apart my survivalist practices, explaining that if you did what I was doing, you're a failure as a parent and that your kids deserve better so you should do better.

I've never done well with being told what to do, but those blog posts ripped me apart. But that's a whole 'nother post entirely. Not today.

I'm well aware that constant electronics isn't healthy for you and those around you but I felt completely helpless. And it was the only thing that got me through the day for most of N's life. 

Now that he's finished his screaming phase, I've been working hard on whittling it down to only about two hours of television and a handful of times during the day that I allow myself to browse Facebook or Pinterest. I still slip some days, some days the television takes over my household and I am on my phone more often than I mean to be. 

But I guess that's not the point of this post.

The real point I'm trying to make is that you can use electronics during the day without destroying your relationships. I have an unbreakable relationship with my sons and we share hugs and kisses and games of hide and seek, and school time and building time, to name only a few examples. But I still take time to myself to breathe in between interactions because I function better with that help.

I saw a hilarious article that talked about the issue of 'Phone Snubbing', a huge catastrophe that causes marriages to crumble like a sand castle under a wave. I showed it to my husband who laughed at it along with me. The article said that people are spending so much times on their phones that it's kicking the other person out of your life so far, that it prevents the two of you communicating efficiently.

Here's the funny part. This problem has always existed. Thirty years ago, it was books. One hundred years ago, it may have been farming or chores or other hobbies. This 'epidemic' is not new, people. It's only taking on a new appearance because of the day and age in which we live. 

I am a product of such snubbing issues. My mom was an avid reader, and I would find her with a mystery novel in her hands whenever she had the chance. And guess what happened to me? I have a strong relationship with her and I find myself doing the same time every now and then. I don't blame my mother for taking the small moments during the day for some recharge time. Hell, I do it myself.

I think the real root of the problem is that people need to find something other than themselves to explain why their relationships are falling apart and electronics are a great scapegoat. It can't defend itself and it does a clever way of covering up any real emotions you should be talking about. When Josh and I have our very rare arguments, we both go to our separate corners of the house for a twenty minute cool down session but we always come back and talk it out before moving on. Don't blame the electronics for your misuse of them. They aren't responsible for your lack of communication.

But if you use your phone as an escape from life to take a breather or to wind down at night, it's not the end of the world, just don't abuse it. But if you find yourself struggling with excessive phone or other electronics use, leave your phone in your bedroom plugged in and away from the action. Tell your spouse to hide the television remote from you so you can't use it for a day or a week or (if you're really brave) a whole month. If you need to check your Facebook or Twitter accounts throughout the day, leave your phone on the kitchen counter and out of your pocket and use it while you prepare the meals for your family.

Don't blame the electronics. They don't know any better. You do, however, so make the necessary changes to make you feel content with yourself. The END.

Love, Mackenzie